I am extremely sorry for not posting. I have been out of town and everything has just been very hectic.
All that aside I am ready to start this blog post.
In life there will be many times where we just have to move on. There are times when our life comes crashing down and things change. We look at the ground and we see broken pieces and try to fit them back together and fix whatever is broken because we want it to be whole again. But, sometimes it's better to just let those broken pieces lay on the ground so that we can walk away from them and end the pain of putting them back together or simply having them in our life. Sometimes there are things that have to be let go of instead of fixed.
There are things in our life that are not worth holding on to because sooner or later we are going to have to let go of them anyways. Whether those are broken pieces of what use to be or what could have been. We are humans, therefore, we get attached to people, ideas, our dreams and our lifestyle and our life and when anything in our life doesn't go as planned we get hurt. Sometimes that hurt is so overwhelming it is hard to let go of, but is it worth holding on to?
Life isn't always going to tread on a single straight and narrow path. To arrive to any destination you're going to have to take a few turns and sometimes you are going to miss an exit and you may find yourself lost or on the wrong path so you may have to pull over to get directions and once all that is sorted out you'll have different directions or you will make a u-turn but essentially you will go where ever you had planned or someplace better. Who knows? The same is true for life. You're going to miss a few exits, make a few wrong turns, but essentially you'll be where you are meant to be. Your life will not be a straight path that you will follow along. You're going to have the bend and twist and turn with the path your life chooses to make you tread along. You can't bend, twist or turn or reach your destination if you keep trying to walk on a straight and narrow path in which you refuse to turn. If you have missed an exit or taken the wrong turn going straight won't bring you to your destination. It will only complicate things and move you even further from your destination. So let go and move on. Go with the twists and turn!
I hope this helped you guys and I will talk to you guys all very soon!
Abigail Monroe
If you would like to contact me you can email me at:
abigailmonroe1198@gmail.com or
abigailmonroe1198@yahoo.com
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Thursday, December 26, 2013
New Year
I wish you guys all a
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.
A new year is on its way and I am sure many of us have
plenty of good and bad things to look back onto. Hopefully, more good than bad,
but at the end of the day life can’t always be all good. We have to accept the
good with the bad. We don’t realize how good we have it until we get it bad.
This year has been full of happiness, laughter, good
moments, bad moments, some sorrow, a little bit of pain, some new learning
experiences, new discoveries and so much more. It’s hard to describe a whole
year in words, but nevertheless I have had a blessed year. Although, I have
experienced some pain I am blessed to be where I am and to have lived through
what I have. I don’t know where I am going, where I am going to be the next
year, what challenges are coming my way, all I know is that I will be fine and
I know you will be too.
I know this coming year will bring its own moments, its own
memories to look back onto and I know that not all moments will be happy ones
and not every memory will be pain free, but regardless of what the new year has
in store for me, for you, for us we will end up where we are exactly suppose to
be.
To look back and visualize how one year has unfolded can be
very overwhelming. There are so many things that may have happened and that may
have changed, but there is a reason for every change. You may not know why
something changed, but you don’t need to know why. In due time it will fall
into place and you’ll understand everything.
I look back at this year and I happy to know that I have
lived a good year. I hope that next year will be just as amazing, if not
better. To be alive and be with the people I love is in itself the biggest
blessing. Often times, when things aren’t going our way we tend to look at all
the things that are going wrong, but regardless of all the pain or suffering
you may have experienced you are still alive and I am sure there are many great
things that happened and that will continue to happen.
I look back at 2013 and it brings back happiness and joy. I
know that this year may not have been perfect, probably far from perfect, but I
lived through it, I faced the challenges that came my way and I did the best
that I could and I gave 2013 my best.
I hope you guys have had a blessed 2013 and that 2014 brings
joy and happiness in your life. Regardless, of what may come, I know that you
will be able to get through it. We all have that power and sooner or later we
will get to where we are meant to be.
Good luck!
-Abigail Monroe
Friday, December 13, 2013
Surround Yourself with the People You Love
Now, a lot of what I talk about in my blog may seem like advice that you may think is not going to help your anxiety. However, these are things that I have learned a long the way and things that may seem so simple and easy, but work like a charm.
Surround yourself with the people you love and want to spend time with. I know that if I am feeling a bit down and I go hang out with my younger sister I am going to feel ten times better. She has so much energy and this love for life that spills onto anyone she talks to. It reminds me of myself when I was younger and her age. Listening and watching her walk to the beat of her drums is amazing and instantly makes me feel happier. I tend to forget about my problems and start to focus on the present, which is talking and being with her and my bad mood is gone. I am so engrossed in something I love doing that I am no longer aware of my problems.
You may find that you can find that kind of relief doing something you love such as, baking, walking, playing your favorite sport and so on and so forth, but I would still encourage that you go out and hang out with someone you love. It is a whole different experience to go out and have fun with someone you love and you just have to trust me on that. When you are doing something alone you will engross yourself in something and be stress free for a moment or two, but you will miss out on the great conversations and laughs you could be having with someone else. I find relief in making things for others and that can be making cookies or decorating something for someone. However, while I am doing those activities I am alone with my thoughts. Even though, I am having fun doing what I love I am not as engrossed in the present as I would be if I were with someone else. Therefore, go out, make plans and surround yourself with someone you love. Someone that uplifts you.
Now you may think to yourself that you are too busy or that the other person may be too busy and so you don't do anything. You don't make plans and don't go forward with hanging out. If they don't have time today, they will have time tomorrow or on a later day. The point is for you to go out and have fun. It can be at a later date or today, but make that call or write that message and send it.
If you live with your family, friends or roommates. Try to get out of your comfort zone or your room and hang out with them if you don't already do so. Talking to people and being around others is a relief in itself. If you enclose yourself in a room or are alone all the time you will only be left with your thoughts. Being with others, listening to them, hanging out with people will allow you to feel happier and much more uplifted. However, try to stay away from people that bring negativity into your life. You don't need negativity in your life and to be honest it is better to be alone than to be with people who can only bring you down.
Lastly, talk to someone about your anxiety. Find someone you are close to and talk to them about how you are feeling. When thoughts are left in your mind and you do not share them they seem so much scarier than they actually are. When you talk about them with someone they seem not so scary after all. When I went to my psychologist I would have so much to tell her and when I would start telling her things that made or broke my life I would realize how minor they were. I would find that those thoughts that had been bothering me for a whole week and made me so scared were very silly. Therefore, talking to someone is essential. Anxiety is not something YOU can alone get yourself out of. You need the help and support of others. Having someone you can confide in will make things that much easier for you and will take away a lot of the fear so find someone you can talk to and talk to them. You will experience relief right away. Try finding someone you can go to at any time. Because I live with my parents, I chose my mom. Whenever, I felt scared or fearful I would go to my mom. If it was 3:00 in the morning and I was scared I woke her up. I would have her come to my room and stay with me until I fell asleep or talked to her until I felt better. Being a little selfish at this point is not bad! Try finding someone you can go to for help and you will feel a lot less scared. It work!
I hope this has helped you and I will talk to you in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Surround yourself with the people you love and want to spend time with. I know that if I am feeling a bit down and I go hang out with my younger sister I am going to feel ten times better. She has so much energy and this love for life that spills onto anyone she talks to. It reminds me of myself when I was younger and her age. Listening and watching her walk to the beat of her drums is amazing and instantly makes me feel happier. I tend to forget about my problems and start to focus on the present, which is talking and being with her and my bad mood is gone. I am so engrossed in something I love doing that I am no longer aware of my problems.
You may find that you can find that kind of relief doing something you love such as, baking, walking, playing your favorite sport and so on and so forth, but I would still encourage that you go out and hang out with someone you love. It is a whole different experience to go out and have fun with someone you love and you just have to trust me on that. When you are doing something alone you will engross yourself in something and be stress free for a moment or two, but you will miss out on the great conversations and laughs you could be having with someone else. I find relief in making things for others and that can be making cookies or decorating something for someone. However, while I am doing those activities I am alone with my thoughts. Even though, I am having fun doing what I love I am not as engrossed in the present as I would be if I were with someone else. Therefore, go out, make plans and surround yourself with someone you love. Someone that uplifts you.
Now you may think to yourself that you are too busy or that the other person may be too busy and so you don't do anything. You don't make plans and don't go forward with hanging out. If they don't have time today, they will have time tomorrow or on a later day. The point is for you to go out and have fun. It can be at a later date or today, but make that call or write that message and send it.
If you live with your family, friends or roommates. Try to get out of your comfort zone or your room and hang out with them if you don't already do so. Talking to people and being around others is a relief in itself. If you enclose yourself in a room or are alone all the time you will only be left with your thoughts. Being with others, listening to them, hanging out with people will allow you to feel happier and much more uplifted. However, try to stay away from people that bring negativity into your life. You don't need negativity in your life and to be honest it is better to be alone than to be with people who can only bring you down.
Lastly, talk to someone about your anxiety. Find someone you are close to and talk to them about how you are feeling. When thoughts are left in your mind and you do not share them they seem so much scarier than they actually are. When you talk about them with someone they seem not so scary after all. When I went to my psychologist I would have so much to tell her and when I would start telling her things that made or broke my life I would realize how minor they were. I would find that those thoughts that had been bothering me for a whole week and made me so scared were very silly. Therefore, talking to someone is essential. Anxiety is not something YOU can alone get yourself out of. You need the help and support of others. Having someone you can confide in will make things that much easier for you and will take away a lot of the fear so find someone you can talk to and talk to them. You will experience relief right away. Try finding someone you can go to at any time. Because I live with my parents, I chose my mom. Whenever, I felt scared or fearful I would go to my mom. If it was 3:00 in the morning and I was scared I woke her up. I would have her come to my room and stay with me until I fell asleep or talked to her until I felt better. Being a little selfish at this point is not bad! Try finding someone you can go to for help and you will feel a lot less scared. It work!
I hope this has helped you and I will talk to you in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Stop Worrying
Many of us worry a little too much. However, worrying is not the solution to any problem and I can assure you of that.
Many of us worry about the future. What's going to happen the next moment, what's going to happen tomorrow or next week, next month or next year. Regardless, of what is going to happen in the next moment or month or year, worrying will not change it. You can worry all you want, but what is going to happen will happen. You worrying for countless hours will not prevent what is to come. If worrying about something could prevent it from happening then worrying is understandable; however, if you worrying can not prevent misfortunes from happening then what is the point of ruining this moment for what may or may not happen in the next. Enjoy what you have now and let go of your worries for the future. The future is not here yet, therefore, do not worry about something you do not know of.
We all know that life is not always going to be happy dandy and perfect. But why ruin the life we do have worrying about future events? The future is a mystery. No one knows what is in store for them, and now is not the time to stress about what may come. You just have to trust and have faith in yourself and understand that regardless of what will happen tomorrow, you will have the courage to get through it. You will have the knowledge and skills to move past the problems that may arise and you will face each challenge as it comes and come out victorious. You have to accept that regardless of what happens life will be amazing in its own ways.
At the end, all I would like to say is that life isn't suppose to be easy and it's not going to be easy. Life isn't about having only happy memories to look back on. It is about knowing that you were able to get through life's challenges as they came. Knowing that you've had your good moments and your bad. Looking back and knowing that you've been through rough times, and still not losing hope for a better future.
Life is about being knocked down and getting back up. It's about being able to be hopeful even in the hardest of times. It's about finding that ray of light in the midst of darkness.
We all know life is going to be easy at times as well as hard. Just go with the flow and takes things as they come. If life is bad it is also good. If life is hard it can also be easy. If life is sad it can also be happy. Life is like a coin. There are two sides and when you flip the coin and it's in the air you never know what side it is going to land on, but you still hope for the best and no matter what side it lands on you move on. So what if it didn't land on the side you wanted, doesn't mean you have lost. Just means you have to try. So even if the coin has landed on the side you least wanted it to don't make the mistake of thinking you have lost. Just move on and try and maybe then things will go your way.
I hope this has given you hope and I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe.
Many of us worry about the future. What's going to happen the next moment, what's going to happen tomorrow or next week, next month or next year. Regardless, of what is going to happen in the next moment or month or year, worrying will not change it. You can worry all you want, but what is going to happen will happen. You worrying for countless hours will not prevent what is to come. If worrying about something could prevent it from happening then worrying is understandable; however, if you worrying can not prevent misfortunes from happening then what is the point of ruining this moment for what may or may not happen in the next. Enjoy what you have now and let go of your worries for the future. The future is not here yet, therefore, do not worry about something you do not know of.
We all know that life is not always going to be happy dandy and perfect. But why ruin the life we do have worrying about future events? The future is a mystery. No one knows what is in store for them, and now is not the time to stress about what may come. You just have to trust and have faith in yourself and understand that regardless of what will happen tomorrow, you will have the courage to get through it. You will have the knowledge and skills to move past the problems that may arise and you will face each challenge as it comes and come out victorious. You have to accept that regardless of what happens life will be amazing in its own ways.
At the end, all I would like to say is that life isn't suppose to be easy and it's not going to be easy. Life isn't about having only happy memories to look back on. It is about knowing that you were able to get through life's challenges as they came. Knowing that you've had your good moments and your bad. Looking back and knowing that you've been through rough times, and still not losing hope for a better future.
Life is about being knocked down and getting back up. It's about being able to be hopeful even in the hardest of times. It's about finding that ray of light in the midst of darkness.
We all know life is going to be easy at times as well as hard. Just go with the flow and takes things as they come. If life is bad it is also good. If life is hard it can also be easy. If life is sad it can also be happy. Life is like a coin. There are two sides and when you flip the coin and it's in the air you never know what side it is going to land on, but you still hope for the best and no matter what side it lands on you move on. So what if it didn't land on the side you wanted, doesn't mean you have lost. Just means you have to try. So even if the coin has landed on the side you least wanted it to don't make the mistake of thinking you have lost. Just move on and try and maybe then things will go your way.
I hope this has given you hope and I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe.
Let go of the past and stop worrying about the future
Again, I would like to apologize for not posting yesterday. It is finals week and I had 2 finals that needed to be taken yesterday so I was pretty much out of the house, taking those finals, but all that is done and I am back with another blog which I hope will help you.
Living in the present is probably the most difficult thing to do when you are suffering from anxiety. It's actually difficult for many people, regardless of whether they have anxiety or not.
Many times we sit and think about "what if's," what if I don't get better? What if I am never normal again? I have some questions for you as well, what if you get better and what if you are more normal and happier than ever before? What if that happens? You never know what is going to happen. You never know where life is going to take you. You probably didn't know years from now you would have had anxiety and you probably never thought to yourself "what if I get anxiety?"
Life takes its unexpected twists and turns. We end up where we least imagined and that is fine. Life isn't suppose to be planned. The spontaneous twists and turns that life takes is what makes everything so much more memorable and worth living. Nothing is mundane and that's just the way it is suppose to be. At the end no one gets out with out scars. Each of us has bad memories that effect us in one way or another. The bad memories are what makes us who we are. They strengthen and deepen our character and make us proud to be who we are. Those memories give us personality and each of us is unique in several ways. Our experiences shape our future for the better.
After going through anxiety, I caught myself wondering how my grandma does everything with so much ease. Life's struggles and problems do not scare her and she goes on with her life without a worry. When I asked her how she lives life so freely, I was able to hear stories of her life in which she struggled. Listening to those stories made me realize that her life isn't and wasn't as free and happy as I had always imagined. She has faced many problems in her life and those are her scars. Her experience is always by her side which builds her character, but at the end she knows that holding on to worries and past experiences isn't going to take her anywhere.
The moral of the story is that the past has passed by. There is no point in holding on to it and worrying about it. Chances are there is nothing about the past that you can change. It's done and over with. It's a done deal. You can't bring it back and change it so why worry? Just try to move on.
With anxiety it is hard to move on from the past. We have two types of pasts with anxiety. The first one is our past with anxiety, which we are not able to let go of because of our fear. We are always afraid that we may experience anxiety in the future. We remember our experience with it and carry it with us in the present. The second past is the past that we had before anxiety. We carry that around with us because it was our happy past. Even though it had ups and downs we were happy and we cannot let that go. We remember the small happy moments we spent here and there and wonder when all of that will come back to our life again.
We remember the first past when we are happy. When we are happy we become afraid of our past with anxiety and start to wonder "what if it comes again?" At times we feel like "you know what if it comes I will deal with it again." Yet, deep down we know that, that may not be true and that if it does come again we may not be able to be happy with it and there is no need to beat yourself up for that. Nobody in their right mind would want to deal with such pain again. It's not that you haven't accepted it, it is just that you are fearful of it. What you need to understand is that just because anxiety happened in your past doesn't mean it will happen in your future. Just because you've faced setbacks before doesn't mean you will face another setback. Furthermore, with time and experience you will accept that anxiety is just a feeling and it will not take control of your life. I am not able to write this blog because I had a quick experience with anxiety and was able to get myself out of it with a snap of a finger. I am able to write this blog because anxiety was something I dealt with. It is something that scarred me. A scar that I will happily carry with me. It makes me who I am and I love that part of me regardless of the pain it once caused me.
We remember our second, more happier past when we are feeling down. We think back to the times we were happier and wish that we can be the same way again. We remember all those happy moments wondering when they will come back and if they will come back. We compare our life now to our life in the past and assess how much easier it was. If you look back at your life in kindergarten or as a kid you will realize that it was a lot easier. However, as you grew older, life become tougher and tougher and that is just the way life is. Life gets tougher and tougher as we get older and as more responsibilities are put on us. That is one of the reasons why you shouldn't compare your life now to your life before. Things change and our lives change. Expecting things to be the same as they were before is kind of like setting yourself up to get hurt. You cannot expect your life to remain the same and expect things to always be constant. Things change, life changes and we change. Each day, each minute, each moment we learn something new. It may not seem so, but we do. After you are done reading this blog you will have learned something new because you have now read my perspective. It doesn't mean you will apply this perspective, but you have read, understood and learned my perspective, hence, something has changed. Life is constantly changing. Therefore, do not expect for it to be the same.
I am going to end this blog here. I have written the second portion of this blog and I will post it after I have posted this one. I hope this has helped you and I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Living in the present is probably the most difficult thing to do when you are suffering from anxiety. It's actually difficult for many people, regardless of whether they have anxiety or not.
Many times we sit and think about "what if's," what if I don't get better? What if I am never normal again? I have some questions for you as well, what if you get better and what if you are more normal and happier than ever before? What if that happens? You never know what is going to happen. You never know where life is going to take you. You probably didn't know years from now you would have had anxiety and you probably never thought to yourself "what if I get anxiety?"
Life takes its unexpected twists and turns. We end up where we least imagined and that is fine. Life isn't suppose to be planned. The spontaneous twists and turns that life takes is what makes everything so much more memorable and worth living. Nothing is mundane and that's just the way it is suppose to be. At the end no one gets out with out scars. Each of us has bad memories that effect us in one way or another. The bad memories are what makes us who we are. They strengthen and deepen our character and make us proud to be who we are. Those memories give us personality and each of us is unique in several ways. Our experiences shape our future for the better.
After going through anxiety, I caught myself wondering how my grandma does everything with so much ease. Life's struggles and problems do not scare her and she goes on with her life without a worry. When I asked her how she lives life so freely, I was able to hear stories of her life in which she struggled. Listening to those stories made me realize that her life isn't and wasn't as free and happy as I had always imagined. She has faced many problems in her life and those are her scars. Her experience is always by her side which builds her character, but at the end she knows that holding on to worries and past experiences isn't going to take her anywhere.
The moral of the story is that the past has passed by. There is no point in holding on to it and worrying about it. Chances are there is nothing about the past that you can change. It's done and over with. It's a done deal. You can't bring it back and change it so why worry? Just try to move on.
With anxiety it is hard to move on from the past. We have two types of pasts with anxiety. The first one is our past with anxiety, which we are not able to let go of because of our fear. We are always afraid that we may experience anxiety in the future. We remember our experience with it and carry it with us in the present. The second past is the past that we had before anxiety. We carry that around with us because it was our happy past. Even though it had ups and downs we were happy and we cannot let that go. We remember the small happy moments we spent here and there and wonder when all of that will come back to our life again.
We remember the first past when we are happy. When we are happy we become afraid of our past with anxiety and start to wonder "what if it comes again?" At times we feel like "you know what if it comes I will deal with it again." Yet, deep down we know that, that may not be true and that if it does come again we may not be able to be happy with it and there is no need to beat yourself up for that. Nobody in their right mind would want to deal with such pain again. It's not that you haven't accepted it, it is just that you are fearful of it. What you need to understand is that just because anxiety happened in your past doesn't mean it will happen in your future. Just because you've faced setbacks before doesn't mean you will face another setback. Furthermore, with time and experience you will accept that anxiety is just a feeling and it will not take control of your life. I am not able to write this blog because I had a quick experience with anxiety and was able to get myself out of it with a snap of a finger. I am able to write this blog because anxiety was something I dealt with. It is something that scarred me. A scar that I will happily carry with me. It makes me who I am and I love that part of me regardless of the pain it once caused me.
We remember our second, more happier past when we are feeling down. We think back to the times we were happier and wish that we can be the same way again. We remember all those happy moments wondering when they will come back and if they will come back. We compare our life now to our life in the past and assess how much easier it was. If you look back at your life in kindergarten or as a kid you will realize that it was a lot easier. However, as you grew older, life become tougher and tougher and that is just the way life is. Life gets tougher and tougher as we get older and as more responsibilities are put on us. That is one of the reasons why you shouldn't compare your life now to your life before. Things change and our lives change. Expecting things to be the same as they were before is kind of like setting yourself up to get hurt. You cannot expect your life to remain the same and expect things to always be constant. Things change, life changes and we change. Each day, each minute, each moment we learn something new. It may not seem so, but we do. After you are done reading this blog you will have learned something new because you have now read my perspective. It doesn't mean you will apply this perspective, but you have read, understood and learned my perspective, hence, something has changed. Life is constantly changing. Therefore, do not expect for it to be the same.
I am going to end this blog here. I have written the second portion of this blog and I will post it after I have posted this one. I hope this has helped you and I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Self-Pity
There are times when we feel bad for ourselves and that is completely normal. We are not always going to love the challenges life throws at us and therefore we will at times feel bad for ourselves. While a little bit self pity can be good for us, too much self pity can be dangerous.
Often times, people going through anxiety feel bad for themselves. They pity the state they are in and want to be "normal" again. Wanting to be normal is a good thing but consistently feeling bad for yourself is not good. You will not be able to get better if you feel like life has done you wrong.
No doubt, you don't deserve anxiety, but take this as a learning experience. I can guarantee you that after dealing with anxiety you will see things more positively. When I had anxiety, all I could think of was how horrible it was, how life with anxiety is the worst kind of life to live and so on and so forth. Having dealt with anxiety very recently, I can sit here and tell you today that I would not change my experience with anxiety. I wouldn't erase it or undo it. I have learned so much from anxiety. It has been the best of teachers. It has taught me how to live a balanced life as well as how to be hopeful, positive, compassionate and more understanding toward the problems and struggles of others. Most importantly it has taught me to live in the present. It has taught me to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future.
Anxiety came as a boon in disguise. It would have taken me years to learn what I have learned in such a short time span. I do not feel unworthy or less fortunate than others for having dealt with anxiety. I, in fact, have much more respect for myself for having gone through what I have gone through. The amount that I have learned from anxiety is overwhelming. So don't feel bad for yourself. Instead, understand that this is a lesson that life is trying to teach you and when you learn it, you will be much more happier.
Now, when I was dealing with anxiety and I read articles like such where people talked about their positive experience of dealing with anxiety I would think to myself "well then they didn't have my anxiety" and "they don't dislike or hate it as much as I do." Not true! Anxiety is a fear and who am I to say or judge on a scale whose fear is more and whose is less. For each person their fear is overwhelming, therefore, I disliked it as much as you disliked anxiety now, but in time I understood that anxiety gave me the opportunity to learn many great life lessons that I will take with me forever. It will save me from making New Years Resolution only to fail because with anxiety I had no choice, but to learn. There are two ways you can go in life with pretty much anything. You can be positive and take the happy route or be negative and take the sad route. It is not easy to take either route when you have anxiety and a lot of it may seem out of your control. But everything is in your control and that is something I need to you understand.
These thoughts, these emotions are not monsters coming from above ready to harm you. They are thoughts and feelings coming from within you and with a little bit of help you can change those negative thoughts! Anxiety is not something you have to overcome by yourself. Having others there for you, ready to support you and talk to you is important. Do not look at anxiety as a battle that you must fight yourself because firstly, it is not a battle, secondly you must not fight it and lastly you definitely shouldn't try to overcome it yourself. Talk to someone near and dear to you whether that is a spouse, a parent, a friend or cousin is up for you to decide.
But remember that feeling bad for yourself isn't the solution. You shouldn't feel bad for yourself because when you feel like you've being wronged, you are less likely to achieve all the great things you need to achieve. What I am trying to say by this can be better explained with an example so for example, when you are working for a promotion at your workplace and you do everything exceedingly well, but at the end your friend who doesn't do a thing at work gets promoted you will normally feel like you have been wronged. The next day when you come to work are you still going to put the same amount of effort into your work? Most likely not. That's what humans do.
Try to understand that you haven't been wronged in fact you are the chosen one. How ever funny this may seem try to think that the stars aligned and picked you to deal with anxiety because they knew you were courageous enough and strong enough to overcome it.
I hope this has helped to give you hope. I hope you try to apply this in your life. Also please comment to let me know if this is helping. I would love to know that these blogs are in fact helping someone out there! With that I hope you have an amazing day and I will talk to you in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Often times, people going through anxiety feel bad for themselves. They pity the state they are in and want to be "normal" again. Wanting to be normal is a good thing but consistently feeling bad for yourself is not good. You will not be able to get better if you feel like life has done you wrong.
No doubt, you don't deserve anxiety, but take this as a learning experience. I can guarantee you that after dealing with anxiety you will see things more positively. When I had anxiety, all I could think of was how horrible it was, how life with anxiety is the worst kind of life to live and so on and so forth. Having dealt with anxiety very recently, I can sit here and tell you today that I would not change my experience with anxiety. I wouldn't erase it or undo it. I have learned so much from anxiety. It has been the best of teachers. It has taught me how to live a balanced life as well as how to be hopeful, positive, compassionate and more understanding toward the problems and struggles of others. Most importantly it has taught me to live in the present. It has taught me to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future.
Anxiety came as a boon in disguise. It would have taken me years to learn what I have learned in such a short time span. I do not feel unworthy or less fortunate than others for having dealt with anxiety. I, in fact, have much more respect for myself for having gone through what I have gone through. The amount that I have learned from anxiety is overwhelming. So don't feel bad for yourself. Instead, understand that this is a lesson that life is trying to teach you and when you learn it, you will be much more happier.
Now, when I was dealing with anxiety and I read articles like such where people talked about their positive experience of dealing with anxiety I would think to myself "well then they didn't have my anxiety" and "they don't dislike or hate it as much as I do." Not true! Anxiety is a fear and who am I to say or judge on a scale whose fear is more and whose is less. For each person their fear is overwhelming, therefore, I disliked it as much as you disliked anxiety now, but in time I understood that anxiety gave me the opportunity to learn many great life lessons that I will take with me forever. It will save me from making New Years Resolution only to fail because with anxiety I had no choice, but to learn. There are two ways you can go in life with pretty much anything. You can be positive and take the happy route or be negative and take the sad route. It is not easy to take either route when you have anxiety and a lot of it may seem out of your control. But everything is in your control and that is something I need to you understand.
These thoughts, these emotions are not monsters coming from above ready to harm you. They are thoughts and feelings coming from within you and with a little bit of help you can change those negative thoughts! Anxiety is not something you have to overcome by yourself. Having others there for you, ready to support you and talk to you is important. Do not look at anxiety as a battle that you must fight yourself because firstly, it is not a battle, secondly you must not fight it and lastly you definitely shouldn't try to overcome it yourself. Talk to someone near and dear to you whether that is a spouse, a parent, a friend or cousin is up for you to decide.
But remember that feeling bad for yourself isn't the solution. You shouldn't feel bad for yourself because when you feel like you've being wronged, you are less likely to achieve all the great things you need to achieve. What I am trying to say by this can be better explained with an example so for example, when you are working for a promotion at your workplace and you do everything exceedingly well, but at the end your friend who doesn't do a thing at work gets promoted you will normally feel like you have been wronged. The next day when you come to work are you still going to put the same amount of effort into your work? Most likely not. That's what humans do.
Try to understand that you haven't been wronged in fact you are the chosen one. How ever funny this may seem try to think that the stars aligned and picked you to deal with anxiety because they knew you were courageous enough and strong enough to overcome it.
I hope this has helped to give you hope. I hope you try to apply this in your life. Also please comment to let me know if this is helping. I would love to know that these blogs are in fact helping someone out there! With that I hope you have an amazing day and I will talk to you in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Monday, December 9, 2013
Agoraphobia
This is a blog that I have been meaning to post for a long time, but it escaped my mind. It's something I dealt with when I had anxiety and I am sure many others did or do as well.
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."-Nelson Mandela
Agoraphobia is the fear of being in certain situations that a person perceives as being dangerous and is related to their anxiety.
For me, I think people tend to have these fear in places where they think they can have a panic attack or things that they associate with a panic attack or anxiety. For example, for me night time, being bored or a movie theater were sources of fear because I associated those things to my anxiety and my anxiety attacks. Wherever, I would experience a panic attack would be the place that I feared of going to so I wouldn't go there all together and that is completely normal. It's hard to forget our suffering.
However, one of the things that I want you to realize is that a bridge, the mall, the movie theater are not the things that cause your panic attacks or anxiety. It's your fear of having anxiety while you are at the mall or on the bridge that causes you anxiety and the panic. For example, I was terrified of the night time because the first time I experienced a panic attack was at night. Therefore, when everyone was ready to sleep I would get anxious and get very panicky. The reason why I got panicky around that time is because in my mind I associated nighttime to anxiety, to panic attacks and to all my suffering. However, nighttime wasn't causing my anxiety. It was my fear of "Oh it's night time, now I am going to have a panic attack that caused my anxiety." I would literally sit there as soon as it got dark waiting for my panic attacking. Preparing myself for it in any way that I could. How am I not going to going to get a panic attack when I am waiting for it? As soon as it got to night time I would release stress into my body that didn't react well with my sensitized body. I would notice every sensation and wait for my panic attack to come. Because I was so stressed and so fearful I would release adrenalin and that would start the "fight or flight response" mechanism and boom there I was with another anxiety attack.
The point is, that regardless of what your fear is you have to let it go. It is hard to do, but it is not impossible. You have to understand that the only reason you get so anxious and fearful when going to the movies, the mall or places that you are fearful of is because you have associated them with anxiety and suffering. The truth is, if instead of trying to fight off anxiety and worrying about how you are going to get anxious when you get to such places you were to remain calm you wouldn't get anxious at all. Your fear causes you to release adrenalin into your bloodstream and then your hit with an anxiety attack or anxiety. If you were to remain calm and accept things, you would most likely feel nothing. However, it would be highly unwise for me to suggest that you could lose all your fear at once. The first few times you go, you will be slightly nervous and that is fine. But just remember you don't want to fight off anything and you most definitely don't want to be fearful. Instead you want to face, accept, float past your problem and with time it won't be a problem!
Your fear has everything to do with your anxiety and panic attacks. As soon as you are able to understand your fear and realize that it is a figment of your imagination the sooner it would stop bothering you.
However, I would still like to say that if something or some place causes you to feel anxious and if you do not want to go to these places right now, that is fine. With time you will be able to go back to all the places you once loved and do all the things you enjoyed doing. If you cannot go now, do not try to force yourself. There is no need to rub salt on to fresh wounds. With time things will become easier. Allow yourself time and when the time is right and you feel ready to accept the next course, then you can go where ever you heart desires so don't worry if you don't want to or cannot go to these places at once. Time heals all wounds and with time your wounds will be healed .
I hope this has helped you. I know this is a very important blog for many of you and I have made it shorter than most normal blogs so that I don't scare you off before you even start reading. Remember you don't want fear to control you. You want to control your fear. I will talk to you guys all next time in the next blog. Till then!
Abigail Monroe
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."-Nelson Mandela
Agoraphobia is the fear of being in certain situations that a person perceives as being dangerous and is related to their anxiety.
For me, I think people tend to have these fear in places where they think they can have a panic attack or things that they associate with a panic attack or anxiety. For example, for me night time, being bored or a movie theater were sources of fear because I associated those things to my anxiety and my anxiety attacks. Wherever, I would experience a panic attack would be the place that I feared of going to so I wouldn't go there all together and that is completely normal. It's hard to forget our suffering.
However, one of the things that I want you to realize is that a bridge, the mall, the movie theater are not the things that cause your panic attacks or anxiety. It's your fear of having anxiety while you are at the mall or on the bridge that causes you anxiety and the panic. For example, I was terrified of the night time because the first time I experienced a panic attack was at night. Therefore, when everyone was ready to sleep I would get anxious and get very panicky. The reason why I got panicky around that time is because in my mind I associated nighttime to anxiety, to panic attacks and to all my suffering. However, nighttime wasn't causing my anxiety. It was my fear of "Oh it's night time, now I am going to have a panic attack that caused my anxiety." I would literally sit there as soon as it got dark waiting for my panic attacking. Preparing myself for it in any way that I could. How am I not going to going to get a panic attack when I am waiting for it? As soon as it got to night time I would release stress into my body that didn't react well with my sensitized body. I would notice every sensation and wait for my panic attack to come. Because I was so stressed and so fearful I would release adrenalin and that would start the "fight or flight response" mechanism and boom there I was with another anxiety attack.
The point is, that regardless of what your fear is you have to let it go. It is hard to do, but it is not impossible. You have to understand that the only reason you get so anxious and fearful when going to the movies, the mall or places that you are fearful of is because you have associated them with anxiety and suffering. The truth is, if instead of trying to fight off anxiety and worrying about how you are going to get anxious when you get to such places you were to remain calm you wouldn't get anxious at all. Your fear causes you to release adrenalin into your bloodstream and then your hit with an anxiety attack or anxiety. If you were to remain calm and accept things, you would most likely feel nothing. However, it would be highly unwise for me to suggest that you could lose all your fear at once. The first few times you go, you will be slightly nervous and that is fine. But just remember you don't want to fight off anything and you most definitely don't want to be fearful. Instead you want to face, accept, float past your problem and with time it won't be a problem!
Your fear has everything to do with your anxiety and panic attacks. As soon as you are able to understand your fear and realize that it is a figment of your imagination the sooner it would stop bothering you.
However, I would still like to say that if something or some place causes you to feel anxious and if you do not want to go to these places right now, that is fine. With time you will be able to go back to all the places you once loved and do all the things you enjoyed doing. If you cannot go now, do not try to force yourself. There is no need to rub salt on to fresh wounds. With time things will become easier. Allow yourself time and when the time is right and you feel ready to accept the next course, then you can go where ever you heart desires so don't worry if you don't want to or cannot go to these places at once. Time heals all wounds and with time your wounds will be healed .
I hope this has helped you. I know this is a very important blog for many of you and I have made it shorter than most normal blogs so that I don't scare you off before you even start reading. Remember you don't want fear to control you. You want to control your fear. I will talk to you guys all next time in the next blog. Till then!
Abigail Monroe
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