Self-Pity

There are times when we feel bad for ourselves and that is completely normal. We are not always going to love the challenges life throws at us and therefore we will at times feel bad for ourselves. While a little bit self pity can be good for us, too much self pity can be dangerous.

Often times, people going through anxiety feel bad for themselves. They pity the state they are in and want to be "normal" again. Wanting to be normal is a good thing but consistently feeling bad for yourself is not good. You will not be able to get better if you feel like life has done you wrong.

No doubt, you don't deserve anxiety, but take this as a learning experience. I can guarantee you that after dealing with anxiety you will see things more positively. When I had anxiety, all I could think of was how horrible it was, how life with anxiety is the worst kind of life to live and so on and so forth. Having dealt with anxiety very recently, I can sit here and tell you today that I would not change my experience with anxiety. I wouldn't erase it or undo it. I have learned so much from anxiety. It has been the best of teachers. It has taught me how to live a balanced life as well as how to be hopeful, positive, compassionate and more understanding toward the problems and struggles of others. Most importantly it has taught me to live in the present. It has taught me to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future.

Anxiety came as a boon in disguise. It would have taken me years to learn what I have learned in such a short time span. I do not feel unworthy or less fortunate than others for having dealt with anxiety. I, in fact, have much more respect for myself for having gone through what I have gone through. The amount that I have learned from anxiety is overwhelming. So don't feel bad for yourself. Instead, understand that this is a lesson that life is trying to teach you and when you learn it, you will be much more happier.

Now, when I was dealing with anxiety and I read articles like such where people talked about their positive experience of dealing with anxiety I would think to myself "well then they didn't have my anxiety" and "they don't dislike or hate it as much as I do." Not true! Anxiety is a fear and who am I to say or judge on a scale whose fear is more and whose is less. For each person their fear is overwhelming, therefore, I disliked it as much as you disliked anxiety now, but in time I understood that anxiety gave me the opportunity to learn many great life lessons that I will take with me forever. It will save me from making New Years Resolution only to fail because with anxiety I had no choice, but to learn. There are two ways you can go in life with pretty much anything. You can be positive and take the happy route or be negative and take the sad route. It is not easy to take either route when you have anxiety and a lot of it may seem out of your control. But everything is in your control and that is something I need to you understand.

These thoughts, these emotions are not monsters coming from above ready to harm you. They are thoughts and feelings coming from within you and with a little bit of help you can change those negative thoughts! Anxiety is not something you have to overcome by yourself. Having others there for you, ready to support you and talk to you is important. Do not look at anxiety as a battle that you must fight yourself because firstly, it is not a battle, secondly you must not fight it and lastly you definitely shouldn't try to overcome it yourself. Talk to someone near and dear to you whether that is a spouse, a parent, a friend or cousin is up for you to decide.

But remember that feeling bad for yourself isn't the solution. You shouldn't feel bad for yourself because when you feel like you've being wronged, you are less likely to achieve all the great things you need to achieve. What I am trying to say by this can be better explained with an example so for example, when you are working for a promotion at your workplace and you do everything exceedingly well, but at the end your friend who doesn't do a thing at work gets promoted you will normally feel like you have been wronged. The next day when you come to work are you still going to put the same amount of effort into your work? Most likely not. That's what humans do.

Try to understand that you haven't been wronged in fact you are the chosen one. How ever funny this may seem try to think that the stars aligned and picked you to deal with anxiety because they knew you were courageous enough and strong enough to overcome it.

I hope this has helped to give you hope. I hope you try to apply this in your life. Also please comment to let me know if this is helping. I would love to know that these blogs are in fact helping someone out there! With that I hope you have an amazing day and I will talk to you in the next blog.

-Abigail Monroe