I am back with another blog, but this time I am not going to talk about a method. I am going to talk about some of the things that keep a person from achieving their goal of getting relief from anxiety, the setbacks and the memories. Also, if you read these blogs and they do help you please remember to comment and let me know. I feel like I am not doing a well enough job to explain so I wanted some feedback, good or bad, to know if I need to change something or improve in anyway. Please comment and let me know, I would really appreciate it.
Often times, we are plagued with memories of our life with anxiety as well as not being able to overcome our anxiety so even when we want to make an effort we really can't because the only memories we have are of our unsuccessful attempts of trying to feel better which hinder our motivation to start another attempt.
Other types of memories that hold us back are the memories of our happy past, at least that was the case for me. I often tried to recreate past experiences so that I could get a glimpse of/relieve my life before anxiety. Needless to say that does not work. Those attempts only held me back. You just have to let go of the past. If you live in the past or constantly think about the time before you had anxiety you will always be stuck in the past and constantly compare your life to what it was like before. Surely, your life will be better in the future, but it will never be the same. What I am trying to say is that, this moment, this day, this hour, this second will never ever come back again. That doesn't mean you won't be happy in the future. It just means you will have different moments and different memories that evolve with time.
You have to let go of the past in order to be happier in the future. Life before anxiety must have been a lot better and even though you had problems then they were not so bad and thinking about that makes you happy because you were happy regardless of the problems you were experiencing at the moment. Well sure you were happy and sure there were problems, but the truth is you are looking at back at solved problems. Problems that you now know how to deal with and so they don't seem so difficult or life changing, but maybe at the time those were the problems that stressed you out, that kept you awake at night, but you're not going to remember all of that now. All you remember is that there was a problem and you solved it and moved on. You learned from experience and if that problem were to knock at your door again you would be able to solve it again.
That is how this problem, your anxiety will be. In the future it will become a problem that will seem so easy for you to solve. I am saying that with experience. Had I started this blog when I had anxiety you would be able to connect with me a lot more because I would tell you my firsthand experience and not one that is remembered through past memories. At times when I am writing these blogs I have to really make an effort to remember how it felt because once you have improved, all this will be gone. You will know that it was not a pleasant time of your life, but at the same time you won't be able to remember exactly what/how you felt like when you had anxiety. You won't remember the panic attacks and how you felt when you got them. You will move on and this will become distant. You will never really be able to go back and remember your exact feelings. I can't. Even if I look back, I can't remember how I felt and that is the magic of time. Time does heal your wounds.
Don't let the memories of your anxiety plague you, but at the same time don't try to push them out of your mind if it does not seem possible. Accept that these are your thoughts for now and that with time your thoughts will change. All you have to do is accept and that will help you move on. Your thoughts and feelings are your thoughts and feelings and there is no wrong way to feel or wrong way to think. However, I cannot stress this enough that these memories will fade with time. As you learn the method to get rid of your anxiety, which I have discussed in my blogs ( Face, Accept, Float, Let time pass), these memories will start to fade. But do not be surprised if the memories last longer than your anxiety. Just know that with time they will go away and they do go away.
Now lets talk about the setbacks.
There will be times when you are feeling amazing and you feel you have finally conquered anxiety and you are well on your way of getting better and suddenly feel anxious and feel like you have taken 10 steps back. You have not taken 10 steps back. You have improved and no matter how you feel at this moment, your improvement has not been erased. You will pick up where ever you left off when you find the hope and courage to do so again. Often times when this happens we lose our confidence and we don't want to continue to move on because it is too painful to think about it now. We need some time to be sad and that is the best way I can put it. It's fine. You can take that time. Nothing is wrong with that. But just know that as humans we will always find ways to be happy again. Even in the worst situations we will find something funny or happy and smile and at that moment you should know that we still have the ability to be happy and feel pleasure even at the worst of times. I can guarantee that your journey with anxiety has not been all sad. I am sure you have had pleasant moments where you laughed or your smiled and were a bit happy, just like you use to be when you did not have anxiety. That's human nature. We will always the courage and hope to lead us to happiness even if we have a small or large setbacks. You will always get back up and fight. Trust me.
I am going to end this blog right here because I feel like it is getting too long and I am sure not a lot of people want to read on and on. But I hope this has helped you and given you a little courage. Just know that with time things do get better. This phase of your life will be distant in the future and you will probably just remember it as a time of your life. It will not be in your thoughts all the time. It will be experience that you learned from, solved and then moved on.
Acceptance will help you let go.
Lastly, please, please, please let me know if these blogs are helping. Anything you want to me change. Anything I am doing right so that I can get some feedback.
-Abigail Monroe
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