Through the course of you trying to get better, there will be many times that you may tell yourself that "you may never be the same again," or that "anxiety is a never ending problem that is here to stay."
Trust me when I tell you that it is not a never-ending problem and it is not here to stay. At this point, you may be think of all the people who have dealt with anxiety for years or you may remember your own struggle with anxiety, because you have been dealing with anxiety for a quite a long time. But the truth is that regardless of how long you have suffered from anxiety, there is always a way out. You may know suffering more than someone who has had anxiety for 1 month and you may even have collected more memories of suffering than someone who hasn't suffered anxiety for a long period of time, but regardless of all those things, anxiety does not reach a stage where it can no longer be fixed. Sure you've collected more painful memories, but with time and when you start to improve you will chose not to focus on those memories and they will go away.
You think the memories will be there for forever? They won't. Once you are getting better it will become hard for you to remember how it felt when you were suffering to a great extent. As an example, (think about a problem that has been resolved) try remembering a time you suffered in the past. Can you remember everything? How it felt, what your thoughts were? Chances are you can't remember everything too much, and it probably doesn't effect you too much. Of course it pulls at your heart a little bit, but it is not something you carry with you every moment of your life. You don't remember it all the time. You might remember it here and there, maybe when someone mentions it or you come across something that reminds you of that time. They only time I remember anxiety is if I see my Xanax bottle because it was directly related to my anxiety. Even when I am writing these blogs I do not get sad thinking about the past. It makes me feel strong and proud of myself for having dealt with and overcome such a problem. You will have a lot more respect for yourself at the end of all this and you will be a lot more positive as well.
I can't stress to you enough how much Claire Weekes method face, accept, float and let time pass works. I am an example of its success (don't worry if you don't have the book or know what I am talking about, my previous blog explains this method in depth). Before I came across this book, I most likely tried just about everything. I tried not to take Xanax and heal naturally, I tried to take Xanax and see if that would work, I stopped Xanax to take Saint John's Wort, I tried fighting my anxiety, I tried to forget, I tried to go away from it and so much more. No matter how much resistance I put, no matter how much I tried to fight it, it would never go away. When I was tried of fighting a battle within myself I stopped trying. Every time, I stopped fighting myself and my emotions and just accepted them my anxiety would get better. Every time I got a bit better, I would realize that I was getting better and that I wasn't going to let myself breakdown this time and I was going to fight to the finish line and that is when I would get myself back into the cycle of anxiety.
Why that happened? Well every time I stopped trying to fight myself, my emotions and my thoughts, I faced my problems and accepted them. I knew I was too tired to put up resistance so I just went with the flow and let all my worries go. I didn't care if I got anxious because I didn't want to fight it, I just floated past it. I would then get better and notice that I am getting better and then start putting up resistance again, fearing that anxiety would come back into my life and I would tell myself that if it came back again this time I would be shattered because my hope would be broken. I kept adding fuel to the fire and hoped that it would eventually die down.
I don't blame myself and others for fighting because that is all we are told to do. We are told to fight off anxiety and to get over it because that is the only way to move on, but is it really? Fighting is not the way to get rid of anxiety and that is something I learned through this method.
In life when we have a problem the first thing we must do is face it and that is the same thing this method teaches you to do. If we chose to run away from the problem we are facing, chances are it is not going to go away by itself. Sooner or later we are going to have to face the problem because running away doesn't solve anything.
The second thing we do in life when we have a problem is we accept it. Acceptance is the key to making things easier. When unexpected changes occur we must accept them in order to move past them. If we sit there in denial, pretending those changes doesn't exist or that we are never going to come to terms with them than chances are we are never going to come to terms with those changes and they will forever be uncomfortable to us. At the end of the day, it is up to you to accept or to deny. Accepting is a lot easier than denying and living uncomfortably. You don't have to like anxiety to accept it. You just have to have to accept that you have it at the moment and with time it will go away.
The third thing we do when we have a problem is float past it. For must of us when we have a problem we do tend to think about it quite a lot, but at the same time we also know how to float past it by not worrying about it all the time and letting some of the pressure of solving the problem rest in the hands of time. That is why most people tell you to go with the flow of life.
Lastly, let time pass. New problems need understanding and time. If your problem was to find a job, you would know going in that it is going to take some time. You will not get a job right away, but as you keep going and facing your problem you will eventually find a solution and move past them and things will be okay.
Now you guys must be thinking, you just rewrote what you've told us in a previous blog again in different words. The reason why I chose to rewrite giving different explanations is because I always felt the need to be explained over and over again why this method works and look at it with a different perspective when I had anxiety because my mind would always come up with questions and excuses for why this method may not work. However, when it was explained to me in a new way I was able to grasp it again and focus on why it works. This happens all the time when people have anxiety. There mind always comes up with a million reasons why this method is not going to work or that they are not going to get better and they need to constantly be given new explanations so that they can move forward.
I hope this blog has helped you. I would just like for you to remember that you should be positive and hopeful and leave the rest in the hands of time and this method. You've come along this far just fine and I am sure you will continue on amazingly well. With that I am going to end this blog. If you have any questions, concerns or anything really you can always message me or comment and I will get back to you.
-Abigail Monroe
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