Hey everyone, I will be posting the agrophobia blog tonight. I write the blogs a day in advance and I was writing agrophobia when I edited and published the positive attitude blog! I will post it by tonight! Sorry for the wrong update! I also apologize for publishing late today. I have been super busy today. Finals weeks so I was out taking finals this morning and came back just now.
Abigail Monroe
Monday, December 9, 2013
You Think You Can Never be Anxiety Free Again, You're Wrong
Through the course of you trying to get better, there will be many times that you may tell yourself that "you may never be the same again," or that "anxiety is a never ending problem that is here to stay."
Trust me when I tell you that it is not a never-ending problem and it is not here to stay. At this point, you may be think of all the people who have dealt with anxiety for years or you may remember your own struggle with anxiety, because you have been dealing with anxiety for a quite a long time. But the truth is that regardless of how long you have suffered from anxiety, there is always a way out. You may know suffering more than someone who has had anxiety for 1 month and you may even have collected more memories of suffering than someone who hasn't suffered anxiety for a long period of time, but regardless of all those things, anxiety does not reach a stage where it can no longer be fixed. Sure you've collected more painful memories, but with time and when you start to improve you will chose not to focus on those memories and they will go away.
You think the memories will be there for forever? They won't. Once you are getting better it will become hard for you to remember how it felt when you were suffering to a great extent. As an example, (think about a problem that has been resolved) try remembering a time you suffered in the past. Can you remember everything? How it felt, what your thoughts were? Chances are you can't remember everything too much, and it probably doesn't effect you too much. Of course it pulls at your heart a little bit, but it is not something you carry with you every moment of your life. You don't remember it all the time. You might remember it here and there, maybe when someone mentions it or you come across something that reminds you of that time. They only time I remember anxiety is if I see my Xanax bottle because it was directly related to my anxiety. Even when I am writing these blogs I do not get sad thinking about the past. It makes me feel strong and proud of myself for having dealt with and overcome such a problem. You will have a lot more respect for yourself at the end of all this and you will be a lot more positive as well.
I can't stress to you enough how much Claire Weekes method face, accept, float and let time pass works. I am an example of its success (don't worry if you don't have the book or know what I am talking about, my previous blog explains this method in depth). Before I came across this book, I most likely tried just about everything. I tried not to take Xanax and heal naturally, I tried to take Xanax and see if that would work, I stopped Xanax to take Saint John's Wort, I tried fighting my anxiety, I tried to forget, I tried to go away from it and so much more. No matter how much resistance I put, no matter how much I tried to fight it, it would never go away. When I was tried of fighting a battle within myself I stopped trying. Every time, I stopped fighting myself and my emotions and just accepted them my anxiety would get better. Every time I got a bit better, I would realize that I was getting better and that I wasn't going to let myself breakdown this time and I was going to fight to the finish line and that is when I would get myself back into the cycle of anxiety.
Why that happened? Well every time I stopped trying to fight myself, my emotions and my thoughts, I faced my problems and accepted them. I knew I was too tired to put up resistance so I just went with the flow and let all my worries go. I didn't care if I got anxious because I didn't want to fight it, I just floated past it. I would then get better and notice that I am getting better and then start putting up resistance again, fearing that anxiety would come back into my life and I would tell myself that if it came back again this time I would be shattered because my hope would be broken. I kept adding fuel to the fire and hoped that it would eventually die down.
I don't blame myself and others for fighting because that is all we are told to do. We are told to fight off anxiety and to get over it because that is the only way to move on, but is it really? Fighting is not the way to get rid of anxiety and that is something I learned through this method.
In life when we have a problem the first thing we must do is face it and that is the same thing this method teaches you to do. If we chose to run away from the problem we are facing, chances are it is not going to go away by itself. Sooner or later we are going to have to face the problem because running away doesn't solve anything.
The second thing we do in life when we have a problem is we accept it. Acceptance is the key to making things easier. When unexpected changes occur we must accept them in order to move past them. If we sit there in denial, pretending those changes doesn't exist or that we are never going to come to terms with them than chances are we are never going to come to terms with those changes and they will forever be uncomfortable to us. At the end of the day, it is up to you to accept or to deny. Accepting is a lot easier than denying and living uncomfortably. You don't have to like anxiety to accept it. You just have to have to accept that you have it at the moment and with time it will go away.
The third thing we do when we have a problem is float past it. For must of us when we have a problem we do tend to think about it quite a lot, but at the same time we also know how to float past it by not worrying about it all the time and letting some of the pressure of solving the problem rest in the hands of time. That is why most people tell you to go with the flow of life.
Lastly, let time pass. New problems need understanding and time. If your problem was to find a job, you would know going in that it is going to take some time. You will not get a job right away, but as you keep going and facing your problem you will eventually find a solution and move past them and things will be okay.
Now you guys must be thinking, you just rewrote what you've told us in a previous blog again in different words. The reason why I chose to rewrite giving different explanations is because I always felt the need to be explained over and over again why this method works and look at it with a different perspective when I had anxiety because my mind would always come up with questions and excuses for why this method may not work. However, when it was explained to me in a new way I was able to grasp it again and focus on why it works. This happens all the time when people have anxiety. There mind always comes up with a million reasons why this method is not going to work or that they are not going to get better and they need to constantly be given new explanations so that they can move forward.
I hope this blog has helped you. I would just like for you to remember that you should be positive and hopeful and leave the rest in the hands of time and this method. You've come along this far just fine and I am sure you will continue on amazingly well. With that I am going to end this blog. If you have any questions, concerns or anything really you can always message me or comment and I will get back to you.
-Abigail Monroe
Trust me when I tell you that it is not a never-ending problem and it is not here to stay. At this point, you may be think of all the people who have dealt with anxiety for years or you may remember your own struggle with anxiety, because you have been dealing with anxiety for a quite a long time. But the truth is that regardless of how long you have suffered from anxiety, there is always a way out. You may know suffering more than someone who has had anxiety for 1 month and you may even have collected more memories of suffering than someone who hasn't suffered anxiety for a long period of time, but regardless of all those things, anxiety does not reach a stage where it can no longer be fixed. Sure you've collected more painful memories, but with time and when you start to improve you will chose not to focus on those memories and they will go away.
You think the memories will be there for forever? They won't. Once you are getting better it will become hard for you to remember how it felt when you were suffering to a great extent. As an example, (think about a problem that has been resolved) try remembering a time you suffered in the past. Can you remember everything? How it felt, what your thoughts were? Chances are you can't remember everything too much, and it probably doesn't effect you too much. Of course it pulls at your heart a little bit, but it is not something you carry with you every moment of your life. You don't remember it all the time. You might remember it here and there, maybe when someone mentions it or you come across something that reminds you of that time. They only time I remember anxiety is if I see my Xanax bottle because it was directly related to my anxiety. Even when I am writing these blogs I do not get sad thinking about the past. It makes me feel strong and proud of myself for having dealt with and overcome such a problem. You will have a lot more respect for yourself at the end of all this and you will be a lot more positive as well.
I can't stress to you enough how much Claire Weekes method face, accept, float and let time pass works. I am an example of its success (don't worry if you don't have the book or know what I am talking about, my previous blog explains this method in depth). Before I came across this book, I most likely tried just about everything. I tried not to take Xanax and heal naturally, I tried to take Xanax and see if that would work, I stopped Xanax to take Saint John's Wort, I tried fighting my anxiety, I tried to forget, I tried to go away from it and so much more. No matter how much resistance I put, no matter how much I tried to fight it, it would never go away. When I was tried of fighting a battle within myself I stopped trying. Every time, I stopped fighting myself and my emotions and just accepted them my anxiety would get better. Every time I got a bit better, I would realize that I was getting better and that I wasn't going to let myself breakdown this time and I was going to fight to the finish line and that is when I would get myself back into the cycle of anxiety.
Why that happened? Well every time I stopped trying to fight myself, my emotions and my thoughts, I faced my problems and accepted them. I knew I was too tired to put up resistance so I just went with the flow and let all my worries go. I didn't care if I got anxious because I didn't want to fight it, I just floated past it. I would then get better and notice that I am getting better and then start putting up resistance again, fearing that anxiety would come back into my life and I would tell myself that if it came back again this time I would be shattered because my hope would be broken. I kept adding fuel to the fire and hoped that it would eventually die down.
I don't blame myself and others for fighting because that is all we are told to do. We are told to fight off anxiety and to get over it because that is the only way to move on, but is it really? Fighting is not the way to get rid of anxiety and that is something I learned through this method.
In life when we have a problem the first thing we must do is face it and that is the same thing this method teaches you to do. If we chose to run away from the problem we are facing, chances are it is not going to go away by itself. Sooner or later we are going to have to face the problem because running away doesn't solve anything.
The second thing we do in life when we have a problem is we accept it. Acceptance is the key to making things easier. When unexpected changes occur we must accept them in order to move past them. If we sit there in denial, pretending those changes doesn't exist or that we are never going to come to terms with them than chances are we are never going to come to terms with those changes and they will forever be uncomfortable to us. At the end of the day, it is up to you to accept or to deny. Accepting is a lot easier than denying and living uncomfortably. You don't have to like anxiety to accept it. You just have to have to accept that you have it at the moment and with time it will go away.
The third thing we do when we have a problem is float past it. For must of us when we have a problem we do tend to think about it quite a lot, but at the same time we also know how to float past it by not worrying about it all the time and letting some of the pressure of solving the problem rest in the hands of time. That is why most people tell you to go with the flow of life.
Lastly, let time pass. New problems need understanding and time. If your problem was to find a job, you would know going in that it is going to take some time. You will not get a job right away, but as you keep going and facing your problem you will eventually find a solution and move past them and things will be okay.
Now you guys must be thinking, you just rewrote what you've told us in a previous blog again in different words. The reason why I chose to rewrite giving different explanations is because I always felt the need to be explained over and over again why this method works and look at it with a different perspective when I had anxiety because my mind would always come up with questions and excuses for why this method may not work. However, when it was explained to me in a new way I was able to grasp it again and focus on why it works. This happens all the time when people have anxiety. There mind always comes up with a million reasons why this method is not going to work or that they are not going to get better and they need to constantly be given new explanations so that they can move forward.
I hope this blog has helped you. I would just like for you to remember that you should be positive and hopeful and leave the rest in the hands of time and this method. You've come along this far just fine and I am sure you will continue on amazingly well. With that I am going to end this blog. If you have any questions, concerns or anything really you can always message me or comment and I will get back to you.
-Abigail Monroe
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Positive Attitude
I want to talk you about positive attitude in this blog because I think this is an essential part of life for anyone, not just someone who has anxiety. It is something that everyone should have.
A positive attitude is so important in life. I know when you have anxiety it is very hard to be positive and it seems as if it is an impossible task to complete. But in reality it is so important to be positive and to think positive because positivity is what makes things good or bad.
I know it is very hard to think positive when you have anxiety. I for one know that. I am on your side. I know exactly how it all feels. Before I had anxiety I was a very positive person. I had a very positive attitude about anything. I always had hope for myself and hope to give. When anyone came to me with their problem I would give them hope. The only reason I able to give myself credit for being positive in the past is because I at one point noticed how negative I had started to think because of my anxiety.
I remember very clearly that I would sit and think to myself that I really miss the old me. The one that was happier and more positive. I thought to myself, "nothing was ever too hard for me. I was so positive and look at me now suffering and in my miserable state." That is when I realized that anxiety had NOT taken away who I was. I had made myself negative and taken away the part of me that I loved.
I realized that I always dealt with problems before I had anxiety, I just happened to have a positive attitude then. Everything was so easy because I wasn't always thinking about "how miserable I was," instead I was thinking about how amazing everything in life was. Our perspective is everything. If you learn how to change your perspective I am sure you will be a lot happier. If you're constantly reminding yourself of how miserable and sad you are then how can you expect yourself to happy? You keep reinforcing this idea that nothing is going right than how will you be able to appreciate everything that is falling in to place just perfectly.
You have to let go of the negative and accept the positive because a lot of us are so sad with our anxiety because we are constantly being negative and finding faults. It's not all or nothing. Enjoy the small pleasures of life. I can guarantee you that your life before anxiety had its up and downs, but sure it wasn't "as horrible as anxiety" because you didn't look at it so negatively.
You cannot expect to be happy if you keep on bringing yourself down. So what I would like for you to do is notice every time you have a negative thought and try to think of it in a positive way. It will seem like a chore in the beginning, but with time it will become the way you think. It will become a habit that will shield from all the problems that are yet to come in life because a positive attitude can make a HUGE difference.
An example:
Negative: Great, I am stuck in traffic! It's going to take forever for me to go home now.
Positive: There's traffic. Well that means I get to spend time with myself and enjoy my music.
The list can go on and on. But I am only going to write one example because I want you guys to come up with examples that are suited for your life instead of covering everything and leaving little for your imagination to do.
I just want you guys to know that having a positive attitude is important for everyone. When your anxious and you're going through a tough time in your life it is hard to think positive, but it is not impossible. You can start with little things and gradually become more and more positive. For example, you can get up and admire the weather even it is raining outside instead of thinking about something negative. It will make a huge difference. Trust me on this one.
Well I am going to end this blog here because I don't think I can say anything other than the fact the positivity is an essential part of life. Being positive is very important. I hope this blog has given you a reason to be more positive. I am sure positivity will bring great changes into your life. Till next time!
(The next blog will talk about agoraphobia, the fear of going to certain placed or leaving your house because you're scared of anxiety. I hope you guys will stay tuned.)
-Abigail Monroe
A positive attitude is so important in life. I know when you have anxiety it is very hard to be positive and it seems as if it is an impossible task to complete. But in reality it is so important to be positive and to think positive because positivity is what makes things good or bad.
I know it is very hard to think positive when you have anxiety. I for one know that. I am on your side. I know exactly how it all feels. Before I had anxiety I was a very positive person. I had a very positive attitude about anything. I always had hope for myself and hope to give. When anyone came to me with their problem I would give them hope. The only reason I able to give myself credit for being positive in the past is because I at one point noticed how negative I had started to think because of my anxiety.
I remember very clearly that I would sit and think to myself that I really miss the old me. The one that was happier and more positive. I thought to myself, "nothing was ever too hard for me. I was so positive and look at me now suffering and in my miserable state." That is when I realized that anxiety had NOT taken away who I was. I had made myself negative and taken away the part of me that I loved.
I realized that I always dealt with problems before I had anxiety, I just happened to have a positive attitude then. Everything was so easy because I wasn't always thinking about "how miserable I was," instead I was thinking about how amazing everything in life was. Our perspective is everything. If you learn how to change your perspective I am sure you will be a lot happier. If you're constantly reminding yourself of how miserable and sad you are then how can you expect yourself to happy? You keep reinforcing this idea that nothing is going right than how will you be able to appreciate everything that is falling in to place just perfectly.
You have to let go of the negative and accept the positive because a lot of us are so sad with our anxiety because we are constantly being negative and finding faults. It's not all or nothing. Enjoy the small pleasures of life. I can guarantee you that your life before anxiety had its up and downs, but sure it wasn't "as horrible as anxiety" because you didn't look at it so negatively.
You cannot expect to be happy if you keep on bringing yourself down. So what I would like for you to do is notice every time you have a negative thought and try to think of it in a positive way. It will seem like a chore in the beginning, but with time it will become the way you think. It will become a habit that will shield from all the problems that are yet to come in life because a positive attitude can make a HUGE difference.
An example:
Negative: Great, I am stuck in traffic! It's going to take forever for me to go home now.
Positive: There's traffic. Well that means I get to spend time with myself and enjoy my music.
The list can go on and on. But I am only going to write one example because I want you guys to come up with examples that are suited for your life instead of covering everything and leaving little for your imagination to do.
I just want you guys to know that having a positive attitude is important for everyone. When your anxious and you're going through a tough time in your life it is hard to think positive, but it is not impossible. You can start with little things and gradually become more and more positive. For example, you can get up and admire the weather even it is raining outside instead of thinking about something negative. It will make a huge difference. Trust me on this one.
Well I am going to end this blog here because I don't think I can say anything other than the fact the positivity is an essential part of life. Being positive is very important. I hope this blog has given you a reason to be more positive. I am sure positivity will bring great changes into your life. Till next time!
(The next blog will talk about agoraphobia, the fear of going to certain placed or leaving your house because you're scared of anxiety. I hope you guys will stay tuned.)
-Abigail Monroe
Saturday, December 7, 2013
The Setback and Memories
I am back with another blog, but this time I am not going to talk about a method. I am going to talk about some of the things that keep a person from achieving their goal of getting relief from anxiety, the setbacks and the memories. Also, if you read these blogs and they do help you please remember to comment and let me know. I feel like I am not doing a well enough job to explain so I wanted some feedback, good or bad, to know if I need to change something or improve in anyway. Please comment and let me know, I would really appreciate it.
Often times, we are plagued with memories of our life with anxiety as well as not being able to overcome our anxiety so even when we want to make an effort we really can't because the only memories we have are of our unsuccessful attempts of trying to feel better which hinder our motivation to start another attempt.
Other types of memories that hold us back are the memories of our happy past, at least that was the case for me. I often tried to recreate past experiences so that I could get a glimpse of/relieve my life before anxiety. Needless to say that does not work. Those attempts only held me back. You just have to let go of the past. If you live in the past or constantly think about the time before you had anxiety you will always be stuck in the past and constantly compare your life to what it was like before. Surely, your life will be better in the future, but it will never be the same. What I am trying to say is that, this moment, this day, this hour, this second will never ever come back again. That doesn't mean you won't be happy in the future. It just means you will have different moments and different memories that evolve with time.
You have to let go of the past in order to be happier in the future. Life before anxiety must have been a lot better and even though you had problems then they were not so bad and thinking about that makes you happy because you were happy regardless of the problems you were experiencing at the moment. Well sure you were happy and sure there were problems, but the truth is you are looking at back at solved problems. Problems that you now know how to deal with and so they don't seem so difficult or life changing, but maybe at the time those were the problems that stressed you out, that kept you awake at night, but you're not going to remember all of that now. All you remember is that there was a problem and you solved it and moved on. You learned from experience and if that problem were to knock at your door again you would be able to solve it again.
That is how this problem, your anxiety will be. In the future it will become a problem that will seem so easy for you to solve. I am saying that with experience. Had I started this blog when I had anxiety you would be able to connect with me a lot more because I would tell you my firsthand experience and not one that is remembered through past memories. At times when I am writing these blogs I have to really make an effort to remember how it felt because once you have improved, all this will be gone. You will know that it was not a pleasant time of your life, but at the same time you won't be able to remember exactly what/how you felt like when you had anxiety. You won't remember the panic attacks and how you felt when you got them. You will move on and this will become distant. You will never really be able to go back and remember your exact feelings. I can't. Even if I look back, I can't remember how I felt and that is the magic of time. Time does heal your wounds.
Don't let the memories of your anxiety plague you, but at the same time don't try to push them out of your mind if it does not seem possible. Accept that these are your thoughts for now and that with time your thoughts will change. All you have to do is accept and that will help you move on. Your thoughts and feelings are your thoughts and feelings and there is no wrong way to feel or wrong way to think. However, I cannot stress this enough that these memories will fade with time. As you learn the method to get rid of your anxiety, which I have discussed in my blogs ( Face, Accept, Float, Let time pass), these memories will start to fade. But do not be surprised if the memories last longer than your anxiety. Just know that with time they will go away and they do go away.
Now lets talk about the setbacks.
There will be times when you are feeling amazing and you feel you have finally conquered anxiety and you are well on your way of getting better and suddenly feel anxious and feel like you have taken 10 steps back. You have not taken 10 steps back. You have improved and no matter how you feel at this moment, your improvement has not been erased. You will pick up where ever you left off when you find the hope and courage to do so again. Often times when this happens we lose our confidence and we don't want to continue to move on because it is too painful to think about it now. We need some time to be sad and that is the best way I can put it. It's fine. You can take that time. Nothing is wrong with that. But just know that as humans we will always find ways to be happy again. Even in the worst situations we will find something funny or happy and smile and at that moment you should know that we still have the ability to be happy and feel pleasure even at the worst of times. I can guarantee that your journey with anxiety has not been all sad. I am sure you have had pleasant moments where you laughed or your smiled and were a bit happy, just like you use to be when you did not have anxiety. That's human nature. We will always the courage and hope to lead us to happiness even if we have a small or large setbacks. You will always get back up and fight. Trust me.
I am going to end this blog right here because I feel like it is getting too long and I am sure not a lot of people want to read on and on. But I hope this has helped you and given you a little courage. Just know that with time things do get better. This phase of your life will be distant in the future and you will probably just remember it as a time of your life. It will not be in your thoughts all the time. It will be experience that you learned from, solved and then moved on.
Acceptance will help you let go.
Lastly, please, please, please let me know if these blogs are helping. Anything you want to me change. Anything I am doing right so that I can get some feedback.
-Abigail Monroe
Often times, we are plagued with memories of our life with anxiety as well as not being able to overcome our anxiety so even when we want to make an effort we really can't because the only memories we have are of our unsuccessful attempts of trying to feel better which hinder our motivation to start another attempt.
Other types of memories that hold us back are the memories of our happy past, at least that was the case for me. I often tried to recreate past experiences so that I could get a glimpse of/relieve my life before anxiety. Needless to say that does not work. Those attempts only held me back. You just have to let go of the past. If you live in the past or constantly think about the time before you had anxiety you will always be stuck in the past and constantly compare your life to what it was like before. Surely, your life will be better in the future, but it will never be the same. What I am trying to say is that, this moment, this day, this hour, this second will never ever come back again. That doesn't mean you won't be happy in the future. It just means you will have different moments and different memories that evolve with time.
You have to let go of the past in order to be happier in the future. Life before anxiety must have been a lot better and even though you had problems then they were not so bad and thinking about that makes you happy because you were happy regardless of the problems you were experiencing at the moment. Well sure you were happy and sure there were problems, but the truth is you are looking at back at solved problems. Problems that you now know how to deal with and so they don't seem so difficult or life changing, but maybe at the time those were the problems that stressed you out, that kept you awake at night, but you're not going to remember all of that now. All you remember is that there was a problem and you solved it and moved on. You learned from experience and if that problem were to knock at your door again you would be able to solve it again.
That is how this problem, your anxiety will be. In the future it will become a problem that will seem so easy for you to solve. I am saying that with experience. Had I started this blog when I had anxiety you would be able to connect with me a lot more because I would tell you my firsthand experience and not one that is remembered through past memories. At times when I am writing these blogs I have to really make an effort to remember how it felt because once you have improved, all this will be gone. You will know that it was not a pleasant time of your life, but at the same time you won't be able to remember exactly what/how you felt like when you had anxiety. You won't remember the panic attacks and how you felt when you got them. You will move on and this will become distant. You will never really be able to go back and remember your exact feelings. I can't. Even if I look back, I can't remember how I felt and that is the magic of time. Time does heal your wounds.
Don't let the memories of your anxiety plague you, but at the same time don't try to push them out of your mind if it does not seem possible. Accept that these are your thoughts for now and that with time your thoughts will change. All you have to do is accept and that will help you move on. Your thoughts and feelings are your thoughts and feelings and there is no wrong way to feel or wrong way to think. However, I cannot stress this enough that these memories will fade with time. As you learn the method to get rid of your anxiety, which I have discussed in my blogs ( Face, Accept, Float, Let time pass), these memories will start to fade. But do not be surprised if the memories last longer than your anxiety. Just know that with time they will go away and they do go away.
Now lets talk about the setbacks.
There will be times when you are feeling amazing and you feel you have finally conquered anxiety and you are well on your way of getting better and suddenly feel anxious and feel like you have taken 10 steps back. You have not taken 10 steps back. You have improved and no matter how you feel at this moment, your improvement has not been erased. You will pick up where ever you left off when you find the hope and courage to do so again. Often times when this happens we lose our confidence and we don't want to continue to move on because it is too painful to think about it now. We need some time to be sad and that is the best way I can put it. It's fine. You can take that time. Nothing is wrong with that. But just know that as humans we will always find ways to be happy again. Even in the worst situations we will find something funny or happy and smile and at that moment you should know that we still have the ability to be happy and feel pleasure even at the worst of times. I can guarantee that your journey with anxiety has not been all sad. I am sure you have had pleasant moments where you laughed or your smiled and were a bit happy, just like you use to be when you did not have anxiety. That's human nature. We will always the courage and hope to lead us to happiness even if we have a small or large setbacks. You will always get back up and fight. Trust me.
I am going to end this blog right here because I feel like it is getting too long and I am sure not a lot of people want to read on and on. But I hope this has helped you and given you a little courage. Just know that with time things do get better. This phase of your life will be distant in the future and you will probably just remember it as a time of your life. It will not be in your thoughts all the time. It will be experience that you learned from, solved and then moved on.
Acceptance will help you let go.
Lastly, please, please, please let me know if these blogs are helping. Anything you want to me change. Anything I am doing right so that I can get some feedback.
-Abigail Monroe
Friday, December 6, 2013
The Next Two Steps in Recovery
I hope that you have worked on the first two steps and have gained some success. You wanting to follow those two steps is progress enough, so don't worry if you have not been able to accept those steps wholeheartedly. At least you are trying.
The third step in this process is
3) Float past it: This is exactly as it sounds. Float past it by not fighting back. Pretend your in a swimming pool floating on water. Apply that to your life. Let lose and go along with the flow. Do not stress and do not worry. Things will turn out to be good just as they are. Do not fight hurdles just float past them. As you do this, you will be left with calmness, which will then help you heal. Now this is easier said than done. I for one know that. I know that it is hard to accept and float past when you're dealing with emotions. I know that is hard to even think positive when you are in such a position and even when you try to think positive, your mind comes with a hundred reasons for why you shouldn't be so optimistic. Your brain throws at you a hundred "what if's" and questions you don't have the answers to and even though you want to be positive there are so many things holding you back. For each person, what that stress is may be different. For me, and I think many of you guys will be able to connect, the stress was not being able to get better. I was fed up feeling the way I was. I hated the fact I had anxiety and I wanted to get better as soon as possible. I did not want to wait. I would continuously think about my life before anxiety. All I remembered before this incident was happiness. Sure, I had problems, but I was still so happy with my life. I remember always thinking to myself, "wow, I love the college I am at. I love life. There is nothing to be sad about." I kept remembering how I could turn even the most negative situation into a positive one. No problem was hard enough to make me feel sad or to make a time of my life feel less joyous. I was always under the impression that having a positive attitude came to me naturally that, that was something I was born with because for much of my life I never had bad days that stretched to weeks or months. These thoughts roamed through my head for much of the day and they were thoughts that made me very sad. I thought I had lost apart of myself that I loved the most. The part of me that I was so proud of and had hoped to keep forever. Now, I am going to end this story here for just a second so I can tell you why I brought this up in the first place. I brought this up because that was my drive to get better. I wanted to be the same person again because I didn't want a lose a part of me that was so special to me. I decided that I would accept this condition and follow these steps if that meant getting my life back. Nothing was more heartbreaking and tough than the thought of not being normal again. I knew that I could gather any amount of hope and courage to make myself become the person I loved most and that is exactly what I did.
4) Let time pass: Everything takes time. Most of us have probably heard the quote "time heals all wounds," and in fact that is very true. With time anxiety and all of this will become a distant memory that you will only remember as a time in your life that has passed, much like high school. Bittersweet memories are something we all have. We don't go around remembering them each day. Just like so this will all fade away into the past, but you have to give it some time. Let's go back to our broken leg example. If you break your leg, you know that it will take time for your leg to become normal again and you understand that. The body needs to heal itself and the body will take its time. We wait patiently or impatiently, but we know that ultimately our leg will be fixed and we will continue on with our life. The same is true for anxiety! You have to give your body time. You cannot expect your body to heal itself with in a day or automatically. Even if you use this method and it works it will take time for anxiety to go away completely. You cannot be disheartened by the small setbacks or by the fact that the method is taking so long. When you break your leg, you should not expect for it to heal the very next day. When you see signs of improvement you do not rip off your cast and start running. You let your body rest and heal. You slowly incorporate your old routine and without a doubt one day you will be doing the things you once did, but you have to let time pass in order to do so. The same is true for anxiety. You cannot get slightly better and try putting yourself through a test to see if you are really the same again. You are still healing and life is not a test, it is a practice. Tests make people nervous and stressed while practices allow you to perfect your skills. Don't add stress and anxiety to an already stressed body by testing yourself. Instead take everything as a practice and perfect your skills. With all that practice your skills will become refined and you will know exactly what to do. Notice that this method does not ask for you to be patient. It tells you to let time pass and you should do just that.
Now, if the methods that I have mentioned have helped you in the slightest I would recommend you buy the book by Claire Weekes that is titled "Hope and Help for Your Nerves. I know that at this point it probably seems that I am affiliated with this book or I am pushing for you to buy it. I am not affiliated with this book whatsoever. This book was published in 1962, years before my own mother was born much less me. The methods that I am talking about are from this book. And this book has helped me become myself again, and I want everyone to feel happy and healthy once again. My goal is not to have you buy this book, but is that you become happy and get over anxiety or whatever that is that has brought you to this blog. I know how it feels and I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I did when I had anxiety and that is why I decided I was going to make this blog. Even though I am summarizing what the book has said and putting in my own input, I feel like I am not doing it justice. I would also like to mention that you can get this book from Amazon or eBay for a very low price, around 98 cents. If you need help finding this book for cheaper, you can always feel free to let me know and I will help you find the cheapest edition out there.
With that, I am going to end this blog. I hope that this has has helped you in the slightest and remember to never lose hope. Things always do end up getting better you just have to give them time. With time, thing will become better. I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
The third step in this process is
3) Float past it: This is exactly as it sounds. Float past it by not fighting back. Pretend your in a swimming pool floating on water. Apply that to your life. Let lose and go along with the flow. Do not stress and do not worry. Things will turn out to be good just as they are. Do not fight hurdles just float past them. As you do this, you will be left with calmness, which will then help you heal. Now this is easier said than done. I for one know that. I know that it is hard to accept and float past when you're dealing with emotions. I know that is hard to even think positive when you are in such a position and even when you try to think positive, your mind comes with a hundred reasons for why you shouldn't be so optimistic. Your brain throws at you a hundred "what if's" and questions you don't have the answers to and even though you want to be positive there are so many things holding you back. For each person, what that stress is may be different. For me, and I think many of you guys will be able to connect, the stress was not being able to get better. I was fed up feeling the way I was. I hated the fact I had anxiety and I wanted to get better as soon as possible. I did not want to wait. I would continuously think about my life before anxiety. All I remembered before this incident was happiness. Sure, I had problems, but I was still so happy with my life. I remember always thinking to myself, "wow, I love the college I am at. I love life. There is nothing to be sad about." I kept remembering how I could turn even the most negative situation into a positive one. No problem was hard enough to make me feel sad or to make a time of my life feel less joyous. I was always under the impression that having a positive attitude came to me naturally that, that was something I was born with because for much of my life I never had bad days that stretched to weeks or months. These thoughts roamed through my head for much of the day and they were thoughts that made me very sad. I thought I had lost apart of myself that I loved the most. The part of me that I was so proud of and had hoped to keep forever. Now, I am going to end this story here for just a second so I can tell you why I brought this up in the first place. I brought this up because that was my drive to get better. I wanted to be the same person again because I didn't want a lose a part of me that was so special to me. I decided that I would accept this condition and follow these steps if that meant getting my life back. Nothing was more heartbreaking and tough than the thought of not being normal again. I knew that I could gather any amount of hope and courage to make myself become the person I loved most and that is exactly what I did.
4) Let time pass: Everything takes time. Most of us have probably heard the quote "time heals all wounds," and in fact that is very true. With time anxiety and all of this will become a distant memory that you will only remember as a time in your life that has passed, much like high school. Bittersweet memories are something we all have. We don't go around remembering them each day. Just like so this will all fade away into the past, but you have to give it some time. Let's go back to our broken leg example. If you break your leg, you know that it will take time for your leg to become normal again and you understand that. The body needs to heal itself and the body will take its time. We wait patiently or impatiently, but we know that ultimately our leg will be fixed and we will continue on with our life. The same is true for anxiety! You have to give your body time. You cannot expect your body to heal itself with in a day or automatically. Even if you use this method and it works it will take time for anxiety to go away completely. You cannot be disheartened by the small setbacks or by the fact that the method is taking so long. When you break your leg, you should not expect for it to heal the very next day. When you see signs of improvement you do not rip off your cast and start running. You let your body rest and heal. You slowly incorporate your old routine and without a doubt one day you will be doing the things you once did, but you have to let time pass in order to do so. The same is true for anxiety. You cannot get slightly better and try putting yourself through a test to see if you are really the same again. You are still healing and life is not a test, it is a practice. Tests make people nervous and stressed while practices allow you to perfect your skills. Don't add stress and anxiety to an already stressed body by testing yourself. Instead take everything as a practice and perfect your skills. With all that practice your skills will become refined and you will know exactly what to do. Notice that this method does not ask for you to be patient. It tells you to let time pass and you should do just that.
Now, if the methods that I have mentioned have helped you in the slightest I would recommend you buy the book by Claire Weekes that is titled "Hope and Help for Your Nerves. I know that at this point it probably seems that I am affiliated with this book or I am pushing for you to buy it. I am not affiliated with this book whatsoever. This book was published in 1962, years before my own mother was born much less me. The methods that I am talking about are from this book. And this book has helped me become myself again, and I want everyone to feel happy and healthy once again. My goal is not to have you buy this book, but is that you become happy and get over anxiety or whatever that is that has brought you to this blog. I know how it feels and I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I did when I had anxiety and that is why I decided I was going to make this blog. Even though I am summarizing what the book has said and putting in my own input, I feel like I am not doing it justice. I would also like to mention that you can get this book from Amazon or eBay for a very low price, around 98 cents. If you need help finding this book for cheaper, you can always feel free to let me know and I will help you find the cheapest edition out there.
With that, I am going to end this blog. I hope that this has has helped you in the slightest and remember to never lose hope. Things always do end up getting better you just have to give them time. With time, thing will become better. I will talk to you guys all in the next blog.
-Abigail Monroe
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The Method to Get Rid of Anxiety
I am posting several blogs today because I want to get as much information out there as possible so that you can begin the process. It is always the toughest to start and I don't want to leave you hanging without a method.
If you are anything like me you have probably spent countless hours trying to find out
We don't want to feel anxious anymore! We want to feel the way we did before. Happy! So we look toward other happy people and long to be like them again. But what I need you to do here is stop! Don't look for what caused your anxiety because that will be of no help to you. I give this example often, but if you fall down and break your leg, does it help you to remember what caused your leg to break? Will that help heal your leg and will it prevent your leg from becoming broken in the future?
I hope your answer to those questions is "no" because it really doesn't matter what caused your anxiety to begin with because chances are you're no longer anxious because of the stress in your life. You are probably stressed because of your anxiety. Furthermore, you may not be able to look back and locate a cause because you thought you were happy up until now. But what I need you to understand is that your body was put under constant stress to have gotten to this point and that is one of the things that Claire Weekes talks about in her book.
So let go of trying to find out why you got anxiety and ACCEPT that you have anxiety.
The process that helped me to get rid of my anxiety and stopped my panic attacks is the one Claire Weekes talks about in her book. If you don't have her book, don't worry! I am going tell you what it is in this post.
1) Face it
2) Accept it
3) Float Past it
4) Let Time Pass.
This is what Claire Weekes has talked about in her book. I am going to reword it and change things up because I am writing a post and she wrote a book so I need to cut to the chase.
1) Face your problem. Understand that you have anxiety and you are no longer going to run away from it. If the symptoms come do not shy away from them. Do not fear them. Just face them. Do not fight back because you don't want to release anymore adrenalin into your already sensitized nerves. Claire Weekes talks about how there are two fears. The first fear is our symptoms. The first fear is there because our body has been sensitized from all the stress. When our body starts to release those symptoms it releases adrenalin into our body which causes our body activate the "fight or flight" response. Are symptoms are caused by the "fight or flight" response that our body activates unnecessarily. By becoming fearful of those symptoms we add more adrenalin and second fear is added and again that activates the fight or flight response, which exaggerates things even more and makes our symptoms even worse. We can call this a panic attack or anxiety. However, if you were to remain calm and face these symptoms as they come and look at them for what they are merely uncomfortable feelings they would eventually go away. When you are about to get a cold and your throat starts to hurt do you fear it? Hopefully, not. Would that keep you up at night? Most likely not. Then why worry about these symptoms?
2) Accept it: Often times, the hardest thing to do is accept something. You do not have to like anxiety or panic attacks to accept them. You merely must accept them for what they are. Stop trying to fight your fears. Instead accept your fears and slowly let them go. You've fought hard enough and for long enough. Stop fighting. Just accept your fears and your state. Once you accept your state and your fears you will be less fearful of them. Fighting back is sometimes not the best option. In her book, Claire Weekes talks about how we release more adrenalin and tire our body even further when we try to fight back from anxiety. Why go through all those efforts when all you have to do is accept your panic attacks? I know I am making it sound easy, when in reality it is very difficult to do. However, it is only difficult in the beginning. Claire Weekes constantly reminds the reader and I would like to remind you the same that at first you wanting to accept your anxiety is progress enough. That will be the start. With time it will come naturally, just don't give up your hope.
I am going to stop here and let you soak in all the information. I will talk about the next two methods in the next post. I hope that you will practice the first two methods so that you are ready to complete the next two when I post them at a later time. I hope this has helped you or given you hope in the very least. Understand that you are not alone. I am with you in this journey!
Abigail Monroe.
If you are anything like me you have probably spent countless hours trying to find out
- Why you got anxiety
- What caused your anxiety
- What was going on in your life that you all of a sudden had to deal with anxiety
We don't want to feel anxious anymore! We want to feel the way we did before. Happy! So we look toward other happy people and long to be like them again. But what I need you to do here is stop! Don't look for what caused your anxiety because that will be of no help to you. I give this example often, but if you fall down and break your leg, does it help you to remember what caused your leg to break? Will that help heal your leg and will it prevent your leg from becoming broken in the future?
I hope your answer to those questions is "no" because it really doesn't matter what caused your anxiety to begin with because chances are you're no longer anxious because of the stress in your life. You are probably stressed because of your anxiety. Furthermore, you may not be able to look back and locate a cause because you thought you were happy up until now. But what I need you to understand is that your body was put under constant stress to have gotten to this point and that is one of the things that Claire Weekes talks about in her book.
So let go of trying to find out why you got anxiety and ACCEPT that you have anxiety.
The process that helped me to get rid of my anxiety and stopped my panic attacks is the one Claire Weekes talks about in her book. If you don't have her book, don't worry! I am going tell you what it is in this post.
1) Face it
2) Accept it
3) Float Past it
4) Let Time Pass.
This is what Claire Weekes has talked about in her book. I am going to reword it and change things up because I am writing a post and she wrote a book so I need to cut to the chase.
1) Face your problem. Understand that you have anxiety and you are no longer going to run away from it. If the symptoms come do not shy away from them. Do not fear them. Just face them. Do not fight back because you don't want to release anymore adrenalin into your already sensitized nerves. Claire Weekes talks about how there are two fears. The first fear is our symptoms. The first fear is there because our body has been sensitized from all the stress. When our body starts to release those symptoms it releases adrenalin into our body which causes our body activate the "fight or flight" response. Are symptoms are caused by the "fight or flight" response that our body activates unnecessarily. By becoming fearful of those symptoms we add more adrenalin and second fear is added and again that activates the fight or flight response, which exaggerates things even more and makes our symptoms even worse. We can call this a panic attack or anxiety. However, if you were to remain calm and face these symptoms as they come and look at them for what they are merely uncomfortable feelings they would eventually go away. When you are about to get a cold and your throat starts to hurt do you fear it? Hopefully, not. Would that keep you up at night? Most likely not. Then why worry about these symptoms?
2) Accept it: Often times, the hardest thing to do is accept something. You do not have to like anxiety or panic attacks to accept them. You merely must accept them for what they are. Stop trying to fight your fears. Instead accept your fears and slowly let them go. You've fought hard enough and for long enough. Stop fighting. Just accept your fears and your state. Once you accept your state and your fears you will be less fearful of them. Fighting back is sometimes not the best option. In her book, Claire Weekes talks about how we release more adrenalin and tire our body even further when we try to fight back from anxiety. Why go through all those efforts when all you have to do is accept your panic attacks? I know I am making it sound easy, when in reality it is very difficult to do. However, it is only difficult in the beginning. Claire Weekes constantly reminds the reader and I would like to remind you the same that at first you wanting to accept your anxiety is progress enough. That will be the start. With time it will come naturally, just don't give up your hope.
I am going to stop here and let you soak in all the information. I will talk about the next two methods in the next post. I hope that you will practice the first two methods so that you are ready to complete the next two when I post them at a later time. I hope this has helped you or given you hope in the very least. Understand that you are not alone. I am with you in this journey!
Abigail Monroe.
The First Step in Getting Rid of Anxiety
Lets begin this journey!
You must first understand that the only person that cannot be helped is the person who does not want to be helped. You are not one of those people because you actually had the courage to understand that there is a problem and then tried to find a solution. I know this because you are reading this blog. You are in fact brave for trying. As long as you have hope everything will be fine.
Another thing I want to mention before I get started is that a lot of the information I am going to give to you is from a book titled, "Hope and Help for Your Nerves," by Claire Weekes. I am not trying to push anyone to buy this book. I just want to make sure I give credit where credit is due. I don't want to take someone's work and call it my own. I have learned from this book and others which I hope to incorporate into this blog to help others.
The first step in recovering is understanding anxiety. The unknown is always a little scary. That is why the first day of school, college, work or anything is always a little scary. You don't know what to expect because you have no previous knowledge, therefore, you feel a bit scared and that is fine.
Therefore, the first step in recovering from anxiety is understanding what it is. I am not saying that you should try to dig up the past to try to find out why you are dealing with anxiety at the present moment. What I am trying to say is to understand anxiety from a medical perceptive. Go on to Google and see all the symptoms people experience when they are anxious such as, not being able to breathe properly, fast heart beat, feeling lightheaded and so on and so forth. Then understand that, that is a normal part of anxiety. There is nothing wrong with you and no damage is being done to your body! Claire Weekes, explains in her book that the reason why our nerves are acting so crazy and we are experiencing these symptoms are because our nerves are sensitized from all the stress we have put them through. They are going to behave like this for a while and you must let them without being afraid. She explains, that when you get afraid you add more stress to your body, which then becomes more sensitized and these symptoms are felt even more strongly. However, if when these symptoms came, you sat back and relaxed and told your self that "this is just my body trying to react to stress" then the nerves will stop acting up.
By stressing out about these symptoms you are adding more stress into an already stressed body. You keep on adding more stress, yet, keep wondering why you are not getting better. I have done the same thing. But as soon as you understand that these symptoms are not damaging and just sensations then you will stop being afraid of them. When they come you will accept them and by not adding more stress and fear they will gradually go away.
However, in order for these symptoms to stop coming, your body must be desensitized and that will take some time. Even after you have conquered your fear you will feel these symptoms for a little bit longer and that is natural. It takes time for anything to heal. But you must give yourself time and let the healing process do its job. I know being patient is not the thing you want to hear, which even this book acknowledges, therefore, just let time pass as Claire Weekes says. The more time you let go by the better you will feel. However, never lose hope and never let yourself feel fearful of the symptoms.
I hope this passage has helped you. That's all for this post. In the next post I will discuss other aspects of anxiety as well as a method that worked amazingly for me. Actually, the only method I needed to get better.
You must first understand that the only person that cannot be helped is the person who does not want to be helped. You are not one of those people because you actually had the courage to understand that there is a problem and then tried to find a solution. I know this because you are reading this blog. You are in fact brave for trying. As long as you have hope everything will be fine.
Another thing I want to mention before I get started is that a lot of the information I am going to give to you is from a book titled, "Hope and Help for Your Nerves," by Claire Weekes. I am not trying to push anyone to buy this book. I just want to make sure I give credit where credit is due. I don't want to take someone's work and call it my own. I have learned from this book and others which I hope to incorporate into this blog to help others.
The first step in recovering is understanding anxiety. The unknown is always a little scary. That is why the first day of school, college, work or anything is always a little scary. You don't know what to expect because you have no previous knowledge, therefore, you feel a bit scared and that is fine.
Therefore, the first step in recovering from anxiety is understanding what it is. I am not saying that you should try to dig up the past to try to find out why you are dealing with anxiety at the present moment. What I am trying to say is to understand anxiety from a medical perceptive. Go on to Google and see all the symptoms people experience when they are anxious such as, not being able to breathe properly, fast heart beat, feeling lightheaded and so on and so forth. Then understand that, that is a normal part of anxiety. There is nothing wrong with you and no damage is being done to your body! Claire Weekes, explains in her book that the reason why our nerves are acting so crazy and we are experiencing these symptoms are because our nerves are sensitized from all the stress we have put them through. They are going to behave like this for a while and you must let them without being afraid. She explains, that when you get afraid you add more stress to your body, which then becomes more sensitized and these symptoms are felt even more strongly. However, if when these symptoms came, you sat back and relaxed and told your self that "this is just my body trying to react to stress" then the nerves will stop acting up.
By stressing out about these symptoms you are adding more stress into an already stressed body. You keep on adding more stress, yet, keep wondering why you are not getting better. I have done the same thing. But as soon as you understand that these symptoms are not damaging and just sensations then you will stop being afraid of them. When they come you will accept them and by not adding more stress and fear they will gradually go away.
However, in order for these symptoms to stop coming, your body must be desensitized and that will take some time. Even after you have conquered your fear you will feel these symptoms for a little bit longer and that is natural. It takes time for anything to heal. But you must give yourself time and let the healing process do its job. I know being patient is not the thing you want to hear, which even this book acknowledges, therefore, just let time pass as Claire Weekes says. The more time you let go by the better you will feel. However, never lose hope and never let yourself feel fearful of the symptoms.
I hope this passage has helped you. That's all for this post. In the next post I will discuss other aspects of anxiety as well as a method that worked amazingly for me. Actually, the only method I needed to get better.
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